My Rocker Husband

I’m a jealous person by nature. I’m very possessive of many things in my life, one of those things being my husband and my time with him. Tonight, my jealousy and possessiveness really came through when I found out that I would be home by myself most of the night. I was looking forward to a night of cuddling on the couch and watching the Olympics with Tyler, and when I found out I wouldn’t get my way, I stomped my foot and stuck out my lower lip. Yup, I was a big baby.

Tyler is in a rock band named Meridian, and practice takes up a lot of his time. They’ve been refining their new sound lately with at least two practices a week, and this week it is going to be three. Once I finally stopped being selfish, I started to think about how supportive Tyler has been of me and my time to pursue photography. How could I NOT support him, when he’s done nothing but be my biggest fan?

Sometimes I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve such a fantastic husband, and one who’s a drummer at that (God really spoiled me when he put Tyler in my life, because I always had a thing for drummers). Honestly, I couldn’t be more proud of him. So proud that I really want to brag on him a bit. All of this practice for the band is not just to get together with three of his closest friends, although that is a perk.

It’s because Meridian was one of the few bands to be chosen to play at Godstock in Fairfield, Illinois, next month. This could be huge for the band because of the exposure they will get. Some big names in Christian music have jammed out on the stage of Godstock, including one of our favorites, Skillet. The schedule isn’t posted yet, but head over to the Godstock web site and you’ll see this picture that I took of the band (left to right: Dane, Daniel, Tyler and BJ):

Meridian

Haven’t heard Meridian yet? The music on their MySpace page is a bit dated, but they will soon be heading to the studio to record five tracks. Some of those songs will be featured on my web site once they’re done. I can’t wait to share my husband and Meridian with you all!

And if you can’t wait that long, come see them at Godstock on September 6. I’ll be the one wearing my “I’m sleeping with the drummer” t-shirt. We can cheer them on together!

 

Venting Session

I’m having a hard time right now and just needed to vent. Tyler was such an amazing support this weekend and did a great job at being so vocal at how proud of me he was for how I did in the Mini Marathon yesterday. More than that, he fit right in with my friend Jaimie and we’ve all had a blast all weekend laughing, watching tv and lounging around.

As great as all of that was, all I can focus on right now is that he left to go back home so he can be at church-band practice and then church. I have to be at work in the Indy office for a couple more days, so I won’t be able to go back home until the middle of this week. It’s so difficult after being married nearly three years to be apart like this. I know I’m being a big baby, but I just feel like a part of me is missing when he’s not around. It was all I could do to not pack up my stuff and go home with him…

Excuse me while I go cry a little…

 

Public Speaking = Public Humiliation

Yesterday was one of the most, if not the most, embarassing days of my life. I had to speak at our local bar assocation’s Young Lawyers’ Bootcamp at the end of the day. I’ve known about it for a while and had prepared accordingly. What I was going to talk about wasn’t groundbreaking information, although electronic case filing procedures are quite important. But an hour before I was supposed to speak to them, it was determined that the technology I was relying on to demonstrate some key things to these young attorneys was not going to work how I needed it to.

So, with about 10 minutes to go before the attorneys arrived, I realized I would have to scale back my presentation. Shouldn’t be too difficult, I thought to myself: I know this stuff inside and out; I deal with it everyday; I train attorneys and their staff pretty consistently.

Both of our judges give their talk, then it’s my turn. I stand up in front of the group and it’s as if the wind has been knocked out of me. I can’t breathe, I stumble over my words, I start shaking, I can’t think. It was a mess. A total mess. And even though I felt like I was going to pass out right there on the spot, I also felt bad for the attorneys who had to sit there, a captive audience, and act like what I was saying was making sense. How horrible for them! After I was done, I put my tail between my legs, walked over to my chair and sat there through the rest of the presentations, mentally kicking myself over and over again.

After the entire thing was over, I slunk into a deep depression. Luckily, we only had five minutes of work left. I finished up for the day and gladly left work not long after 5 p.m. to go to my first Basic Photography class. All I wanted to do was run home to Tyler and have him give me a big hug, because that always makes me feel better, but instead, all I could do was call him. As I tell him what happened, I instantly start crying.

And after that, although I was experiencing some major sadness about how my workday ended, I remembered yet again why I love being married to Tyler. He is the most comforting, helpful person I know. He reassured me that it wasn’t as bad as I thought and that no one would even remember it, and furthermore, no one probably even noticed it. He tried his hardest to make me feel better, and as I ended the conversation with him, I felt good enough to go to my class.

Class was enough to get my mind off of the day’s events, but once I got home, I was back into my state of depression and worry over it all. Once again, Tyler was to the rescue. Good heavens, I love that man. He came up behind me, put his arms around my wasit and kissed my cheek as tears rolled down them. Once again, he tried to reason with me that everything would be okay and that I am a good communicator and it was due to having things go wrong right before I was supposed to speak. I put on a smile and tried to believe what he said.

But the tears weren’t over for the night. We were laying in bed talking and once again, the scene in front of the attorneys played through my mind. Once more, here came the tears, and once more, Tyler does his best to reassure me that everything would be okay. He comforted me the best he could and calmed me down enough that I could fall asleep. I woke up this morning feeling like it was all a bad dream, but sadly, it wasn’t. I’d give anything to do it over again.

I learned from this that I’m not the best public speaker in the world. By far. And I actually think I would do better if I didn’t follow a list of notes. I think that throws me off more than if I just do it by memory, by heart. (Any pointers for public speaking from anyone who’s actually good at it?)

But I also learned that I have the best husband in the world. He has this way of making me feel so much better even when I feel like the whole world is crumbling around me. Just knowing that I have his big hug and comforting words to come home to after I mess things up like I did gives me the courage I need to lift my head up, put one foot in front of the other and keep on carryin’ on.

 

Becoming a Photographer: Inspiration

As I get closer to taking classes, I have been consumed with thinking about what kind of a photographer I want to be. I have perused blog after blog and web site after web site. There are soooo many that inspire me!

1) bobbi+mike. My favorite. Hands down. Seeing Bobbi’s work is what inspired me to take this step toward becoming a photographer in the first place. She and Mike’s work is vibrant, fun, edgy and unique. AND she’s a fellow Sycamore!!

2) Jessica Claire. I covet one of her Shootsac bags. However, I’ve resolved not to get one until I’m a true photographer (and until I have a camera…I wouldn’t have any use for it until then, and they’re too pretty to just be left sitting around). But I truly love her work. It’s always so crisp and looks like it came straight from a magazine. And, she definitely knows how to capture those details. I love that she’s so driven, too. She sets goals (one of which was design a new product, and voila, we have the Shootsac!) and works hard to achieve those goals.

3) I just stumbled upon Jasmine Star. All I can say is, Wow. Her work truly takes my breath away. She not only has a true sense of capturing a moment with photos, but also with words. She always includes a little story with each couple she photographs. I feel as if I’m right there with her subjects, feeling what they are feeling. And, she’s a Christian and publicly professes her faith on her blog and Web site. Love that!

4) Anne Ruthmann. I truly love that she strives to make her business green. She also likes to help others make their businesses better. She does both by blogging about her efforts, tips and experiences. One of the ways she decided to help other photographers is by offering to include them as a second shooter at one of her many weddings (she was booked for 2008 before 2007 was even over!). I emailed her about it, and I hope that I’m advanced enough to accompany her sometime in May or later. I can’t tell you how excited I am about the possibility of doing that. Her work is definitely something I strive to emulate!!

5) Me Ra Koh. She used to be a writer (like me) but found healing through photography. After seeing Me Ra’s photography of her kids, friends started asking her to take photos for them. It took off from there and now she’s one of the very best in the business. Best of all? She gets to watch her kiddos grow up since she’s at home with them instead of in an office all day. I would love, love, love to be able to do that one day.

Each of these five women encompasses a little part of what I want to be as a photographer. They have talent, business know-how, giving hearts and great personalities. Just thought I’d share these five photographers who get my creative juices flowing each day when I check in on their photography blogs.