This weekend, I was left to my lonesome since Tyler went on the men’s retreat for our church. I came to the realization that I’ve never really been on my own. I’ve either lived with my parents, in a dorm surrounded by people or with Tyler after we got married. Add to this realization my biggest fear, and it was an interesting weekend to say the least.
Picture this: me in bed on Friday night, pepper spray and cell phone on my jewelry stand, all the outside doors locked, bedroom door locked and my dog in bed with me. Could you tell I was terrified? As if all of that wasn’t bad enough, I had horrible dreams and woke up early Saturday morning and nearly had a panic attack. I calmed myself down by praying and eventually went back to sleep. I had to get up at 6 to be at the YMCA by 7 for our final Saturday run before the big race. I was groggy, but nonetheless able to get up.
Saturday was a busy day, and I think it’s a good thing it was (you’ll see why later). After my 5-mile run, we had continental breakfast at the Y so we could socialize with our fellow runners. Some of them approached me with the idea of running the Country Music Marathon in Nashville on April 26, 2008. I’ve always wanted to be able to call myself a marathoner, but after the half last year, those dreams were shattered. However, I’m hoping this year I’ll have a better run and will be able to gain the confidence back. So, the CM Marathon hinges on how I do this Sunday. I’m pretty confident that I’ll end up doing well, but only time will tell.
After the run, I went home to get a quick shower and then headed to the West side of Evansville to take some pictures for the story I’m doing for the WestSide edition of the Courier. It is a story about the Evansville Pigeon Racing Club. Sounds odd, but actually I think it’s going to be a pretty interesting story. After that, I headed home and worked on the house all day. We still had a lot of things we hadn’t put away from our trip to Gatlinburg, so my work was cut out for me. I did laundry, dishes, scrubbed the shower, cleaned off my sink, mowed the yard and picked up everything laying around in our bedroom. Then I made a trip to Walmart (yes, I went to Walmart even though deep down I hate it) to get some necessities for our family dinner at church on Sunday. I was so tired that I headed to bed early. I was still a little nervous about sleeping without my man to protect me, but I think me being so exhausted really helped ease my mind. All I wanted to do was sleep; I couldn’t get to bed early enough! My head hit the pillow and I was out. It felt so good to rest. And I think that being alone all weekend really forced me to rely on God’s strength and not my own or Tyler’s.
Sunday I got to church late since I had to get all the salad fixin’s together for our lunch afterwards. Cathy, our pastor’s wife, taught the story of Mary and Martha. It was so good to hear that story. It reminds me that while working for the glory of God isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, it’s about where our heart is. If we are doing these things for the wrong reason, it isn’t pleasing to God. We should follow our hearts, especially if that means we should sit at the feet of Jesus. Jesus wants our hearts to be at rest; sometimes tradition or pressure from others makes us think that we have to be busy all the time so things can get done, but really he is just after our hearts. Makes me sit back and think that there are times when I distract myself with these “things” rather than do what God really wants from me.
Tyler finally showed up after church was over. It was so good to see him again. I just wanted to jump in his arms in front of all those people. I’m so glad that he has such a great group of guys to go do “guy stuff” with out in the country, but he belongs with me. God has really blessed me with a great man. Sometimes you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone, and I realized this weekend just how much it means to me to have him in my life. I’m really looking forward to catching up on our quality time tonight. Neither of us really has anything going on, so I think it will be a good night together just doing nothing.