Nicole Neff

…about this handsome guy that make me love him so much. He’s had me on cloud 9 for a while just for being him. I’m so friggin’ lucky to be married to him. Just a few of the things I love about him:

• His sense of humor – see picture above. He’s always doing something cute and/or funny to keep me laughing. There’s nothing better than bonding over something that is funny.

• How he’s worked so hard to keep our marriage going. There are times when it got rough, but he never quit and never let me, either.

• His passion for drumming. He may make some pretty cute/funny faces when he’s on stage, but it makes me happy to see him enjoying something that much. God truly has blessed him with a talent and he’s pursuing it with everything he’s got. I’d really love to see him make a profession out of it like he wants. We’re praying about it.

• How he’s not afraid to do housework. I came home yesterday to find him doing the dishes. And he hates doing dishes. It makes me happy that he knows it’s not just my job to keep up the housework; it’s truly a team effort. Not many wives can say that.

• How he’s completely anal about keeping his car clean. Sometimes it can be annoying that he washes his car once a week in the summer, but it shows he works hard to keep things in good shape. If he cares that much about his car, just think how much he cares about me. Okay, maybe it’s not a good comparison. Moving on…

• How he loves our dog. He used to hate dogs, and Lola has certainly won him over with her cuteness. He plays with her, talks to her like she’s a kid, and takes her on walks. Pink leash and all. Now that’s a manly man!

• When we go to bed and lose track of time just talking and laughing. Like last night when we were talking and he finally checks the time and it’s been 45 minutes. And even though we’re both exhausted, we don’t care. Because it’s some of the best quality time we get to spend together.

• The way he looks in his suits when I see him in the morning before work. Nothing better than a business man – my business man – in a suit. Hot!

• How he helps me through the tough times in life. He’s always giving good opinions and definitely balances my spontaneity. He keeps me grounded and sane. And when words can’t make things better, all he has to do is wrap his arms around me and I instantly feel better.

• How he has a heart for God. We’re both learning to rely more on God’s strength and learning more and more what it means to give grace. Knowing that he prays for me and us everyday…I feel so loved!

Tonight, we get to see Larry the Cable Guy at Roberts Stadium. More quality time laughing with my man…can’t wait!

No, I’m not posting the lyrics to the Staind song. I just realized today that I haven’t posted a blog in a while. Here’s what’s been going on in my life:

• I’ve taken a break on reading the book unChristian for now, mainly because I’m busy with doing some extra work so we can put money into our Hawaii account. What I’ve read so far has been highly inspiring and humbling at the same time. Some of the issues the book points out are issues I’ve had to deal with because of churches I’ve gone to, so I want to make sure that I don’t repeat the things that have made me feel farther from God.
• We went out with Matt (our pastor) and his wife MaryRuth for dinner on Friday. We went to RiRa’s, which I wasn’t very impressed with. The atmosphere was great, but the food was horrible. I had the fish and chips; the chips (just fries, really) were great, but the fish was slimy from the grease/batter. I don’t think anyone else was too impressed with their food either. After that, we went to Coldstone Creamery to get the bad taste out of our mouths. Seriously, we just had a craving for some good ice cream, and CC didn’t disappoint. I had my usual Birthday Cake Remix. Fabulous!
• Saturday we went to Nashville for a day trip. I won tickets on the radio Friday to see Ronnie Milsap at the Grand Ole Opry (I won them when I qualified for a trip to the CMAs, which I will find out if I win that on Saturday). With such short notice, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to go, but one of the girls offered to take Tyler’s Saturday work shift so we could. I was so ecstatic! Neither of us had been to the Grand Ole Opry, so it was a neat experience. We only knew one of Ronnie’s songs and were by far the youngest ones in the crowd, but we enjoyed it nonetheless. We did some shopping at Opry Mills Mall, then went to the Cool Springs Galleria to see our friend Cassie, and then back to the Opry Mills Mall for a dinner with our friends Nick, Randi and Jill Jones, who moved down there from Evansville this past year. It was such a great trip, but we got back pretty late and had to get up for church the next morning. We sure were tired, but it was worth it to be able to have some fun with Tyler and our friends. Definitely a break from the ordinary.
• I’m having dinner with my sister at El Maguey’s in Boonville tonight. Nothing like some Mexican food to make a belated birthday celebration great! I’m super excited about spending time with my sister. We may live a town apart, but I rarely get to see her. We’re hoping to make the meal a monthly thing.
• This weekend is our friend’s bonfire to celebrate his birthday. I’m so excited about cooler weather and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. I can’t wait to get bundled up in a big, comfy sweater and hat. It’s great cuddling weather, too.
• We’ve been spending a lot of time with people from church. Our church is about to undergo a lot of changes and I’m very excited about the possibilities of where it might take us. For once, I feel like I’m a part of a family at my church and we’re ready to make a difference in our community. Tyler and I have been praying about what that might mean for us as far as our involvement. Let’s just say I never thought I would even think about taking on this type of responsibility in the past, so it must totally be a God thing.
• I haven’t been running much lately. Too busy with family stuff. Hoping to get back on that train this weekend with at least an 8-miler. Still contemplating the Indy Half Marathon, too. Not really sure what’s holding me back since I know it would be a blast and I’d get to hang out with my college friend, Jaimie. Maybe I’m just a big wimp…the thought of running with 35,000 people is a bit overwhelming!
• I’ve been doing a little writing for the Courier & Press. It feels so good to flex my writing muscles! I’ve also been taking some pictures for the stories I’ve done. It makes me so happy to see what I can do with a camera.
• I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Tyler and I have been doing so great. We’ve really learned to communicate and make quality time for each other. And the time we’ve been spending together has been a lot of fun, too. He really is such a great man and I’m very lucky to have him.

I’m hoping to rest up a bit this weekend. I’d like to get some scrapbooking done, too (which if I haven’t mentioned it, scrapbooking and photography have become two of my biggest passions). Also, I have some things going on in my life right now, so I could use some prayer.

We made a trip to Family Christian yesterday in between church and lunch because I wanted to get a book that just came out. It’s called “unChristian” and it’s by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons of the Barna Group. The Barna Group is a marketing and research group that performs studies about how to improve ministries. The book is a study about why my generation — the 16- to 29-year olds — no longer relate to or want anything to do with Christianity. While the study was performed over a three-year period, it is not heavy-laden with confusing figures and statistics. Instead, it’s an insightful view about what we Christians are doing wrong.

I was highly encouraged by this book when I first read about it online. I couldn’t wait for it to come out. And then when I received the flyer from Family Christian and saw that it was out, I had to get my copy. The book highlights the exact problems that my church, Journey, is trying to solve. We know that those out of college are the least likely to attend church even though this is a time when they may need it most. They’re at a transition in their lives and need people who can support them.

I’m reading it mostly to find out what I can do in my life to be more Christ-like and not to point out what others should be doing. It starts with me. I’ve seen the change that God has played in my life over the past year and I now know what it’s like to be excited about being a Christian, to be passionate about living my life to its fullest, with hope and love and faith. I want others to know me and want to know what’s different about me.

But a common reaction when I tell them about why I am the way I am is one of disgust and putting up walls. They don’t want anything to do with Christianity; we’re all a bunch of hypocrites, liars, fakes, backstabbers and snobs to them. Heck, even I think that about us Christians sometimes. Yes, we’re human. We are all that way every once in a while. But I want them to see that even though we falter, we have hope through Christ.

I want people to see Christianity in a different light. I hope to be the change I want to see in the world. I’m confident that this book will shed some light on areas I need to change in my life so I can show others who Christ really is, not who we (I) make Him out to be.

This morning I left for work a little later than I would have liked, but still not as late as sometimes normal. It was about 7:45 as I pulled out of my driveway and onto Washington Street. Although my defroster was working to clear up all the overnight dew from my windshield, I could still see just fine…

Fine enough to see a striped orange kitten running from the yard to my right, into the road, and under my right tires. But it was too late to try to avoid the kitten. I’m an animal-lover, so this was obviously not a good way to start off my day.

I called Tyler immediately and told him what happened. He asked if I stopped to see if the cat belonged to a family, but I hadn’t thought of that. I couldn’t do that because even if I wanted to see if the kitten had a family, I couldn’t go back to see what I had done to that poor little, cute, fuzzy, harmless animal.

I’d like to take a moment of blogging silence for that kitten, who never saw my little black Corrola coming its way…

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Thank goodness I will drive back home in the dark tonight. I couldn’t bear to see that lifeless animal on the side of the road. Lesson learned? If I’d have left for work on time, I’d have spared this poor little kitty’s life.

I’m not sure, but I don’t think this is the way Bob Barker would recommend cutting down on the stray-pet population…

Well, I survived the Evansville Half Marathon this year. I guess just being able to say that after the record-setting heat we had is a feat in itself. Although there were about 1,900 people registed for the event, only 1,626 runners finished. To say it was hot on race day would be an understatement. It was at least 75 degrees with high humidity at the start.

But let me start with what happened very first thing in the morning. I woke up promptly at 5:30 Sunday morning to prepare for the race. I had two-and-a-half pieces of cinnamon-sugar toast and a glass of orange juice for breakfast first thing since I wanted to make sure I had time to digest it. Normally, I would never eat before a race because it usually makes me sick. But I wanted to make sure I had plenty of energy to make it through the race. I also started drinking a combination of water and Gatorade so I was sure I would be hydrated; I’d been drinking water all week long and felt pretty confident about having enough fluids in me. Then I got dressed and fixed my hair and gathered everything I would need for the race. Tyler, mom, and dad (who got in the night before) got up and started getting ready so I waited for them and we left right on schedule at 6:45.

Surprisingly, I was very calm on the way to Reitz Hill for the start. I only got a little razzled when Tyler and my dad were cracking jokes about how I would end up regretting not packing an overnight bag for when I ended up in the hospital (hello, positive thoughts please!) but other than that, I was cool, calm and collected. Really, it was uncharacteristic of me because I usually freak out about anything I can’t control.

When we finally arrived at Reitz Hill, I got out and attached my number to my shorts and took off to warm up. I got back and stretched and then looked around for my parents and Tyler. Nowhere in sight. But I did see my friend Miles and I gave him a big hug (his dad was running the race). I couldn’t find a water station, and I had to eat one of my Gu packets which you’re supposed to take with water. I ate it anyway, thinking I could find Tyler so I could get into the car to get my water bottle. Made my final trip to the restroom and rubbed on some of the Aquaphor to my thighs. I also saw some of the people from church who had made signs to support me along the route. I felt bad that I couldn’t stay and talk to them long, but the runners had already been lined up for a while. As I made my way to the 8:00-minute pace mark, I found my mom who gave me the other Gu to replace the one I had eaten. I settled in next to my running friend Chuck and waited for the start. It was already so hot, and I knew it was going to be a tough race especially since I didn’t drink anything right before the race. I’ve never done well in heat for some reason. My body just doesn’t adapt.

Once the gun went off, we all had a slow start. We wound our way around the back of Reitz and I waved to my mom, dad and Tyler, knowing I’d see them in about 4 miles. The first part of the race was downhill, so I tried to lengthen my stride, but not overly so because I knew the dangers of going too fast at the start. It wasn’t too bad; I wasn’t going as fast as I could have, but not too slow either. But man, I was hot. The sun was shining and there was very little relief from it along the route. I was already getting chills, which I knew wasn’t a good sign, but I kept up the pace.

By the time I neared the McDonald’s at St. Joe, I heard some familiar voices call my name. I looked to the left and saw some more church members/friends: Rachel, Bill, and Cathy. That made me feel good, and I waved to them as I passed. Up ahead I could see my family. I motioned to my mom that I needed my water, but she had left it in the car (And there is a funny story that goes with this…apparently my mom panicked a bit and said a four-letter word that my dad and Tyler teased her about. Very unlike my mom, so like my husband and dad.) so Tyler let me have a sip of the Powerade he had just gotten from McDonald’s. I began to worry that even though I drank a bunch of water all week that it still wasn’t enough.

By the time I got to Garvin Park and Bosse Field, I was parched and getting tired. And that was only mile 6. I again saw Rachel, Bill and Cathy (I remember saying to them, “You guys are everywhere!”) and then once I made it through Bosse Field, my mom was waiting for me with some water. I made sure I drank plenty and walked some to give myself a little break.

Then it was onto Main Street, where I saw both trios as well as Matt, another church member. Matt asked how I felt and I managed to get out, “Not good at all.” I told my mom, dad and Tyler that I no longer cared about my 1:55 goal and I just wanted to finish. Although I had planned only to walk at the water stations, it was obvious I was going to be doing a lot more of it. And as I went under the Lloyd Expressway from Main to Vine Street, I had to walk. From then on out, I think I walked after every mile marker and then some.

Once I got back on Main Street at the walkway downtown, I seriously contemplated calling it a day. I saw my mother in law for the first time and also saw Miles again. My family was there, too, I knew the car would be nearby; I could easily just walk off the course and make my way home. But for some reason, I kept with it. My mom poured some water on me, and even though the coolness was a shock to my body, I knew I needed to cool off. About a mile past the walkway, Chuck started to make his way past me. His goal was to finish within two hours (he had run it in 1:51 last year but got injured from his marathon training) so I knew that I had really gone off my goal pace of 8:30 per mile. As much as I wanted to keep up with him, I couldn’t.

As we neared Akin Park, I could feel myself getting more and more fatigued. From that point on, the half marathon always feels like it stretches on forever. It felt that way last year, too. I remember that near mile 11 there were several people either on the side of the road with the First Aid personnel or lying in the middle of the road with First Aid personnel. I felt very fortunate that I wasn’t one of them, but knew that if I went too hard it would be me. And I didn’t want that. So even though my mind wanted me to go harder, my body wouldn’t have it. And I had to push aside my pride and just do what I could to finish.

I finally saw the end in sight as I neared the riverfront. This is where I had problems last year, so I knew that I had to pay attention to my body. Anything could still happen so I didn’t want to push it too hard even though I wanted so badly to just finish the race and rest. I could see the blow-up finish line in the distance, but it seemed so far away. And it was. I tried so hard just to keep running, but even that close, I still had to walk. As I finally got closer, I knew I could do it. I tried sprinting the last part as hard as I could, but I’m pretty sure I was only capable of a slow jog.

As I neared the finish line, I heard my family cheering me on above the noise of the crowd. My name was announced and I knew I was going to make it. My time was 2:04:45 and finished 400th overall and 19th in my age group. Not nearly as good as I wanted, but unlike so many that day, I can say I finished. I had a hard time standing up after I got done. I was so disoriented that I almost didn’t turn in my chips; I heard the volunteers saying they needed to get them, but at the time, I didn’t know they were talking to me. I made my way to the table where water, Gatorade, and fruit awaited me. I quickly opened up my Gatorade and drank as much of that as I could. I ate half of a banana and already was so full. People were coming up to talk to me and I know I seemed so rude, but I was having a hard time just keeping my eyes open and staying standing. I determined I will not do the Nashville Marathon and even swore off half marathons all together. About 15 minutes later, though, I was talking about running the half marathon again next year. How quickly I forget the pain. (Side note: Now I’m thinking about doing the Indy Half Marathon. I’ll have to decide soon since it quickly fills up.) I just don’t understand why my body gives out when I train so hard for it. I trained at 8:00-minute miles so I thought keeping up a pace of about 8:30 would be no problem. What am I doing wrong? I’m open to any suggestions.

We walked across the street to get out of the sun. I sat down and stretched, said goodbye to some of my supporters. It was so good to have people there cheering me on. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it without them. I took off my socks to reveal a nasty blister. But on the bright side, the Aquaphor did the job and I didn’t have ANY chafing (last year, it was so bad it scabbed). I was so tired and sore, all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. So I walked — barefoot no less – back to the car with Tyler and my parents so we could go home where a nice, long shower and warm bed awaited me.

Later that afternoon, we had my birthday dinner at my in-laws’ house with my parents. Chicken and steak kabobs, cole slaw, potato salad, baked beans, freshly baked bread, red velvet cake, and ice cream really hit the spot especially in a runner’s empty stomach. I got a lot of nice things from everyone, and Tyler even surprised me with a massage at Absolute Beauty on Monday in addition to the suit he had already bought me. It was very, very relaxing, and although it made me more sore the next day, it was totally worth it.

I apologize to everyone for the late update, but I don’t have Internet at home. Then I only had a half day at work on Tuesday to allow for travel time to Indy. I was in Indy doing training all day on Wednesday (which was my 25th birthday!). I didn’t get on the Internet when I was there either. But I guess it’s better late than never, right?

I just got back from picking up my packet for the Evansville Half Marathon. This year the Expo was held at Vectren downtown instead of The Centre, which is just a couple buildings away from where I work. I always look forward to seeing what goodies and freebies they give us for races. This year, they did not disappoint!

Here’s what we got: 1) Race bib (mine has a special “Team 13″ sticker on it since I trained in the Y program called “13 Weeks to 13 Miles”) 2) The commemorative race shirt (white instead of gray this year…a little disappointed that it wasn’t a little more different than last year’s) 3) Cool Gear Little Chill (water bottle with a freeze stick in the middle to keep your beverage cold…love it!) 4) Lanyard with detachable piece for keys 5) Koozie with the half marathon logo for cans of soda 5) A cell-phone case you can attach to your clothing (loving this since you never know what can happen on long runs) 6) A card with pace times (I’m shooting for an 8:30 mile pace this year which will put me just over 1:51…a lofty goal, I know) 7) Aquaphor (I didn’t know why they put this in our packets last year, but now I know…CHAFING! Definitely using it this year.) 8 ) Biofreeze (for achy muscles) 9) Lip balm (from the Courier & Press…my other employer) 10) A pen 11) Tons of coupons to local places 12) Free copy of Evansville Living

Getting free stuff makes me excited, but the best part is picking up my bib number. It makes the race so real now. This year, they’re testing two different timing methods of timing. The first is the IPICO Sportag, which is a little, flat chip (kind of like a small credit card is the best way I can describe it) that you put on your shoe. We had a chip on our shoe last year, but it was much different than this year’s. The second is the J-Chip. I’m not too excited about this one. It is sealed inside a plastic slip that is then attached to your bib. It’s a little weighty and I’m not sure how they plan on detaching it after the race is over. Plus, my “Team 13″ sticker is over it, so I don’t know how they plan on taking the chip out without destroying the sticker, which will get me into a special hospitality tent after the race. We’ll see.

I was a little worried earlier this week when the weather was forecasted to be in the upper 80s, but with a chance of storms all day. I prayed for a change, and I got my prayer answered. Except not how I wanted. Now, it’s going to be a high of 91 (in October…what the heck??) with no rain. The rain is supposed to hold off until Monday, so that means Sunday will be extremely humid. Fun.

But, I’ve been drinking a lot of water all week, loading up on carbs, getting good rest, and not going hard on my runs, so I’m praying for the best. I plan on drinking lots of water and Gatorade along the race and I even picked up some Gu at the Expo today. I’m going to test it out on my short, easy run tonight to make sure it doesn’t make me sick. The guy who sold it to me suggested I eat some 15 minutes before the race and then at least once during. I got vanilla, tri-berry, strawberry-banana and orange; a good variety. I also plan on pouring some water over myself throughout the race to make sure I don’t get too hot.

My parents will get in either tonight or early tomorrow morning for the race and my pre-birthday weekend. Tomorrow is a full-rest day, so I might just lounge around and watch movies all day with them. In the evening, I’m getting together with some of my running friends for a dinner at Fazoli’s (although I’ve read that you are actually supposed to carbo load the most on the two days before the race).

In addition to my parents, a bunch of my friends from church will be there, as well. I’m just astonished at how much support they’ve all shown me. It’s very flattering. Of course, my biggest supporter will be there as well…Tyler has been such a doll through all of this. I get home late when I do the training during the week and wake him up early on Saturdays for the long runs and he hasn’t complained once. His parents will likely show up to support me, too. I have such great people in my life!

Hopefully, I’ll finish standing up this year instead of passed out, and without a trip to the emergency room. So I should be done no later than 10 a.m. on Sunday. You can check the race results here; my bib number is 1141. Say a prayer for me!

So it’s only Tuesday, and already I’m soooo nervous for the Evansville Half Marathon that isn’t until Sunday. I’m wondering how I’m going to handle all of this when I’m just more than 4 days away.

Some of the thoughts going through my mind: Am I eating right? Drinking enough water? Did I train hard enough? What if it rains? What if it’s not as cool as I want it to be? Am I going to be able to tell if/when I’m getting dehydrated again? What if I can’t sleep the night before? How hard should I run this week? Should I run at all? What am I going to wear on race day? What if I go out too hard? Am I capable of running it 5-10 minutes faster than last year like I want? What if I hit a wall? Should I look into carrying gels with me on race day?

Talk about exhausting. I know I should relax, but it’s so hard. I know I’ve done all I can do and am in much better shape than last year, but there is still so much left to chance when you arrive on race day.

I’ve been scouring the Internet looking for race tips. Most of the sites I came across were personal blogs; they provided some relief since I know others have been there before. They’ve survived. The most helpful blog I came across was one from a guy referred to as Coach Joe. I’m going to try really hard to do what he suggests in his blog.

And if you’re interested in seeing what the buzz is all about, here’s the map for raceday. Come out and cheer us on!!

As previously promised, here is my birthday wish list:

1) Nike+ System: I just found out you don’t have to have Nike shoes to make this work (thanks Jaimie!!). But, you do need the iPod Nano. From time to time, I carry my XM radio, which is kind of big and heavy, so this would allow me to be more hands-free when running.

2) iPod Nano: See #1.

3) Nike armband or any of the nano armbands: Not absolutely necessary, but really nice so you don’t have to carry it when you run.

4) Shoe pouch: Black or gray, please.

5) A day at the spa: Because my body will need it after I run the half marathon.

6) Scrapbooking stuff: One of my favorite new hobbies. Or you could just get me a gift card to Hobby Lobby, Jo Ann’s, or Michaels. Or buy Creative Memories stuff from Rachel.

7) Gift cards to: The Limited, Target, Barnes and Noble, Coldstone Creamery (haven’t been there in AGES), etc.

8 ) A pull-over jacket, much like this one. I need it to be warm enough that I don’t freeze on the cold fall morning on the way to work or evenings at football games.

9) A road bike. I’d seriously like to take up riding as a way to cross train for running. It’d be fun, too.

10) A chance to hang out with some of my friends from high school. I seriously feel like it’s been forever since we’ve all been together.

11) A road trip. Just for a day, maybe to Brown County. I love traveling with my Tyler!

While all of this stuff is great, all I really want is time with friends and family. I’ll be in Indy for training on the 9th and 10th, so that means I get to have my birthday dinner with my parents. I’m super-excited about this.

I have to admit, though, I’m a little scared of turning 25. It is, after all, a quarter of a century. I feel so old. Especially when my hubby is 2 years younger than I am.

This weekend, I was left to my lonesome since Tyler went on the men’s retreat for our church. I came to the realization that I’ve never really been on my own. I’ve either lived with my parents, in a dorm surrounded by people or with Tyler after we got married. Add to this realization my biggest fear, and it was an interesting weekend to say the least.

Picture this: me in bed on Friday night, pepper spray and cell phone on my jewelry stand, all the outside doors locked, bedroom door locked and my dog in bed with me. Could you tell I was terrified? As if all of that wasn’t bad enough, I had horrible dreams and woke up early Saturday morning and nearly had a panic attack. I calmed myself down by praying and eventually went back to sleep. I had to get up at 6 to be at the YMCA by 7 for our final Saturday run before the big race. I was groggy, but nonetheless able to get up.

Saturday was a busy day, and I think it’s a good thing it was (you’ll see why later). After my 5-mile run, we had continental breakfast at the Y so we could socialize with our fellow runners. Some of them approached me with the idea of running the Country Music Marathon in Nashville on April 26, 2008. I’ve always wanted to be able to call myself a marathoner, but after the half last year, those dreams were shattered. However, I’m hoping this year I’ll have a better run and will be able to gain the confidence back. So, the CM Marathon hinges on how I do this Sunday. I’m pretty confident that I’ll end up doing well, but only time will tell.

After the run, I went home to get a quick shower and then headed to the West side of Evansville to take some pictures for the story I’m doing for the WestSide edition of the Courier. It is a story about the Evansville Pigeon Racing Club. Sounds odd, but actually I think it’s going to be a pretty interesting story. After that, I headed home and worked on the house all day. We still had a lot of things we hadn’t put away from our trip to Gatlinburg, so my work was cut out for me. I did laundry, dishes, scrubbed the shower, cleaned off my sink, mowed the yard and picked up everything laying around in our bedroom. Then I made a trip to Walmart (yes, I went to Walmart even though deep down I hate it) to get some necessities for our family dinner at church on Sunday. I was so tired that I headed to bed early. I was still a little nervous about sleeping without my man to protect me, but I think me being so exhausted really helped ease my mind. All I wanted to do was sleep; I couldn’t get to bed early enough! My head hit the pillow and I was out. It felt so good to rest. And I think that being alone all weekend really forced me to rely on God’s strength and not my own or Tyler’s.

Sunday I got to church late since I had to get all the salad fixin’s together for our lunch afterwards. Cathy, our pastor’s wife, taught the story of Mary and Martha. It was so good to hear that story. It reminds me that while working for the glory of God isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, it’s about where our heart is. If we are doing these things for the wrong reason, it isn’t pleasing to God. We should follow our hearts, especially if that means we should sit at the feet of Jesus. Jesus wants our hearts to be at rest; sometimes tradition or pressure from others makes us think that we have to be busy all the time so things can get done, but really he is just after our hearts. Makes me sit back and think that there are times when I distract myself with these “things” rather than do what God really wants from me.

Tyler finally showed up after church was over. It was so good to see him again. I just wanted to jump in his arms in front of all those people. I’m so glad that he has such a great group of guys to go do “guy stuff” with out in the country, but he belongs with me. God has really blessed me with a great man. Sometimes you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone, and I realized this weekend just how much it means to me to have him in my life. I’m really looking forward to catching up on our quality time tonight. Neither of us really has anything going on, so I think it will be a good night together just doing nothing.